It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

Theodore Roosevelt

A quote that could quite quickly change your life. Are you the critic or the one in the arena? If you’re not in the arena I’m asking you why not. What is your arena?

For me this quote had no greater relevance than about two years ago when I returned to work after maternity leave. Nine months out and covid left me returning, struggling to remember what I was good at and feeling like an imposter in a leadership role. Ultimately it led to me presenting online to a room filled with suits and suddenly I couldn’t breathe or speak. I actually had to make excuses, turn my mic and camera off, and walk around the living room to calm myself down. I finished the meeting but I felt sick, mortified and like my career was over.

From that moment things continued to spiral. Rooms and spaces I had once flourished in with confidence, I suddenly couldn’t step in without sweating, feeling dizzy and being unable to breathe. I spent months trying to survive, avoiding so many situations at work and feeling that my career was really over. I was preparing for how I would have to sell my home and provide for my family on less than half my salary, because I felt I had no choice but to quit altogether. After all, how could you have a trainer and developer in a leadership role that couldn’t even talk in meetings let alone teach.

What followed was two years of clawing myself back up and out from this panic and anxiety. Three CBT therapists, two hypnotists, countless books and podcasts, joining the Buddhist center weekly, personal development exercises and a new job later, I’m 70% back.

In that time Brené Brown was my favorite read. Her work on leadership and vulnerability had me not only hooked, but realising there was another way. Before this personal crisis I always prided myself on my strength, confidence and resilience. Then Brené reminded me of a value I always championed – openness and ultimately vulnerability. Being vulnerable is not a weakness, in fact, it is an immense strength. Not everyone has the strength to show their true vulnerabilities, it’s hard work.

So I committed myself to being in the arena, not quitting my career, but fighting for it and ‘daring greatly’. Every day was a battle for me, before meetings I would be doing Amy Cuddy power poses in the toilet and then talking on Zoom whilst tensing body parts to release adrenaline. I felt judged at every moment like I couldn’t hide my fear and anxiety, I felt naked. My options were to quit, to give up and wait to be fired or to fight in the arena. To have my face “marred by dust and sweat and blood”. I realised that the opinions of those who were taking the easy route actually didn’t matter, and those who were also in the arena with me, who did matter, were rooting for me because they too understood how it felt to dare greatly, to fail and to hopefully succeed.

So how is this relevant to you? What arena are you in or avoiding? What has you so scared of the opinions of critics, that you’re sitting on the sidelines too afraid to try or trying to hide your failings rather than celebrate and learn from them?

If you are in the arena why are you valuing the voices of critics so much when they don’t even have the courage to join you on the floor? Who are those with you, that you trust, and who you should also be supporting in the fight?

We waste so much time worrying what others think of us and being scared that we will fail – we then fail to try. Failing to try denies you the opportunity to grow, to learn from both success and failure. Failure can be a gift, a lesson leant or opportunity tried. How much more time are you willing to loose whilst sitting on the sidelines?

Get in the arena, dare greatly.